"God Speaks"
By Bill Bonner
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND – "Yesterday evening, traffic was snarled, almost gridlocked, all around our neighborhood in Baltimore. Fortunately, we walk to work. Headed home, we noticed dozens of unmarked police cars with red and blue lights flashing. “What’s going on?” we asked when we came in the door. “Oh… that’s the president. He’s doing a ‘Town Meeting’ down the hill. He’s promising people a lot of free stuff. I think that’s the gist of it.” He calls it the “caring economy.” More medical care. More child care. More senior care. More homeless care. More care for the Taiwanese. More caring for minorities, women, and, of course, the non-binary members of the population. And most important, though the president didn’t mention it, more care for the rich… who already get the most care of all.
It’s wonderful… how caring you can be when you can print money ad infinitum. And now, with so much caring going on… the U.S. slips and slides… stumbles and falls. This week, we looked for someone to blame. Two suspects came readily to mind: God or man. We made our case against man. But God bears some of the guilt, too. He created the world… and man… and death. No one… and no empire… escapes. And today, in what we believe is a first for the newsletter business… if not for the entire publishing industry… we put God Himself on the witness stand… and let Him defend Himself.
Witness Testimony: "Be still. Yep. It’s Me, God. Representing Myself. I don’t need no jackass ambulance chaser to give My side of the story. I’ll do it Myself. Bill Bonner has alleged that I am at least partially responsible for the decline of the U.S. He says I created a world where tides ebb and flow… days dawn and then the sun sets… where people allow themselves all sorts of vain illusions… fall into predictable traps… and then, amidst all the upward striving… the fight for love and glory… success and failure… in the end, everybody dies anyway.
And I don’t deny it. Yes… I created the world. And man, too. Man is an imperfect creature. Well, I’m being too kind. He’s a moron, really. I don’t know why I put up with him sometimes. But let’s back up… well… to Genesis, and I’ll explain how it came to be.
God’s Work: I first put man into a paradise… Adam. I gave him a wife… Eve. And the two of them cavorted, naked as jaybirds, in the Garden of Eden. You’d think they’d have been grateful. Instead, they got together and thought they were pretty hot stuff… and they didn’t need Me to tell them what to do.
That was the beginning of the trouble. I had to banish them from the garden. The easy living was over; now, man had to live by the sweat of his brow. But he was never a straight-shooter. He was always robbing Peter to pay Paul… looking for shortcuts… for aces up his sleeve… and loose change in his pocket. And he had that scoundrel, Lucifer, to tempt him.
I tried to lead man… I tried to teach him… and even to create a better model. Once, I was so disgusted, I drowned almost all of them, like unwanted kittens. And then, I gave the dirty work to the Jews… and told them to exterminate the other tribes. Mixed results there, too. You win some; you lose some.
The Chosen Ones: And I knew Americans would make a mess of things. Why shouldn’t they? Every other group has. Remember when Madeleine Albright – there was a piece of work! – called the USA the “indispensable nation”? “If we have to use force, it is because we are America,” the then Secretary of State said in an interview on The Today Show with Matt Lauer in February 1998. “We stand tall and we see further than other countries into the future.” I almost fell out of my chair laughing. She thought THEY were the chosen people. And nobody sees into the future but Me. But that’s the thing with clowns like Albright… they think they are gods, too.
Know-It-Alls: The Romans had the right idea. They had a slave walk alongside a victorious general, whispering in his ear: memento mori (remember, thou art mortal). And the clowns always have Big Plans… Thousand-year Reich? Remember that one? Ha ha. A “war to end all wars?” Heh heh. “Democracy…?” “Diversity?”
They always think they know more than any human who ever lived before them… and that what they want, right now, is what humans should want for all eternity. And then, the next thing you know, they’re retreating from Moscow and freezing their buns off.
Really, it’s amazing what drivel people will believe… and what mischief they’ll get up to. Ha, ha, ha… They’re alright – mostly – when they stick to what they really know – their own lives… their own families… their own business… But the minute they walk upon the public stage… and begin making plans for others… well, good God, it’s a disaster.
Rules of the Road: Okay… yes… I admit… I’m to blame for the ebb and flow… the yin and yang… and the rise and fall of nations. And yes, My creature, man… never comes upon a banana peel without slipping on it. I take responsibility for the world, but not for every dumb thing done by man. I gave him “free will.” You know what that means? When he screws up, it’s his own damned fault.
But Bill already made the case against man. There’s no point in My saying more on that. So, let’s turn to Me… Ich… Yo… Moi… What is My fault? There are some basic laws that govern all my creations… and some rules of the road, “traffic lights,” as you call them.
Nobody gets out alive, for example. It doesn’t matter what you do or what you think. And you can’t get something for nothing. And whether you call it “democracy” or armed robbery, ripping people off is not a good idea. And you can’t just print up “money” and pretend it’s real wealth.
Yes… I imposed “limits.” You can’t spend more than you earn – not for long. You can’t beat a royal flush with a pair of eights. And if you’re over 70 and you try to act like a 25-year-old, you’ll make a fool of yourself.
Reaping the Whirlwind: Bill has shown that Americans have ignored the limits for a long time. They’ve sown the wind, to coin a phrase. Now, they’re reaping the whirlwind. He’s shown why they can’t back up… why they can’t change direction… and why the result will be the worst financial calamity the world has ever seen.
But it’s not just the USA. Almost all modern economies are headed for the same crisis. They’re running into My limits… and it’s going to be one Helluva crash."
God has agreed to come back to the courtroom next week so he can continue his testimony."
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