"What Bikini Pictures Have To Do
With The War Against You"
by John Wilder
"Epictetus, no relation to Sydney Sweeney, had this to say several thousand years ago: “When the standards have been set, things are tested and weighed. And the work of a philosopher is just this, to examine and uphold the standards, but the work of a truly good person is in using those standards as they know them.” There are a lot of implications that flow from these two sentences.
Let’s start with the biggest one: that there are standards that can be objectively set. Throughout the mid part of the 20th Century and into the 21st, the move has been to make everything relative. There is no Truth. This is crucial, because before Evil can rebuild, it has to refute that there is something True. Philosophy, since Newton, always tried to glom on to cutting edge physics. It’s really that the philosophers, sitting around writing stuff down, brooding, and smoking pipes, were out of ideas and decided to mine science.
Newton came up with the laws of motion, and thus, Determinism! became the thought process of the philosophers. Hey, being a philosopher is a decent paying gig for those that don’t understand differential equations yet know how to make espresso, so don’t look down on them. But then along came Einstein. His physics of relativity, poorly understood by philosophers, translated perfectly to what they wanted to bring about anyway and had been fiddling with before E=mc2: moral relativity. Einstein? He just gave them the moral permission slip and a word they could misuse.
Moral relativity led to a huge crashout that’s still rippling through society today. Here’s the conversation overheard at the Lame Philosopher’s Club after someone translated Einstein into French: The first one said, “Oh, that means that races don’t exist! We’re all the same, relatively!” The next one piped up, “Yeah, and there is no God. And no one is right!” And another, “Hey, and people? They’re all the same. And they’re perfectible!” And another, “Oh, let’s try men are the same as women. Wait, whoa, this will blow your mind, how about that men can become women, or something in between!” And another, “Dude, carry it out, maybe it’s all something we made up! And, try this one out, how about all cultures are the same? I mean, to an ant they are, right?”
Truth was clearly the first thing that had to be obliterated. As a standard, it simply did not mesh with Modern Thought. What about Beauty? There is clearly an objective standard for Beauty. Babies look longer at attractive faces, and look away from ugly faces. It is not beauty, it is Beauty. Sometimes we don’t know it until we see it, like my friend, Arthur. I mean, I know Art when I see him. Yet, Art never texts back.
Clearly, you can see what has been done with Beauty, and it’s to the point where a 9.5/10 body and a 6.5 face can turn Sidney Sweeney into the next Marilyn Monroe because her competition are a bunch of chubby goblins. Seriously, Hollywood© has been trying to cast women who couldn’t get a job at a strip club for the 2pm Tuesday shift as “hot”, so popping in an 8 (average body and face) of a Sweeney becomes a sensation. Beauty, capital B, is real.
That leaves Good. Epictetus uses it in the second sentence to define what a good person is. It is one who uses the standards. Sure, it’s a bit of a tautology, and we all know that the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club, a good person is one who will say what is Good and what is Evil. And, he also drops the wiggle room, “as they know” them clause at the end.
That’s okay, because what he’s saying isn’t that the standards don’t exist, and isn’t that they’re not Real and Eternal and Unmovable. They do exist. They are Real and Unmovable. The wiggle room is because sometimes, from our vantage points, we just don’t see them all that well. The standard hasn’t changed, it never changes. Only our understanding does, because it is revealed as we gain experience with the world and understanding.
This is what we call wisdom. And most of wisdom? We gain it because we were wrong and didn’t understand that objective Truth. We didn’t understand real Beauty. Or, we didn’t see that we didn’t fully understand Good. Again, the standards haven’t changed, it’s because we’re looking at the world as through a glass, darkly.
I sometimes think that, perhaps, one of the biggest difficulties we have as mankind is this desire to search and understand the universe. They say ignorance is bliss, but the more we look, the smaller we become. I get it. Our quest for knowledge is our story. There may be an older story about an apple, a talking snake, and taking advice from women in here, but I’ll let that lie for today.
Regardless, it is clear that there is Truth. There is Beauty. And there is Good. It is our quest to understand those as clearly as we can, and to courageously stand for them, especially when others, even the whole world seems to stand against us. And, that’s okay. Because, in the end, even through valleys of lies, fields of corruption, and that plain of evil, the True, Beautiful, and Good has been standing for eternity. So, we’ve got that going for us. Oh, yeah, and the Sweeney bikini pics aren’t bad, either. Of note, the bikini pictures are not an argument, but they are, however, evidence."