"41 Things I Think I Know (2022 Revision)"
by John Wilder
"This is a revamp of an older post from way back in 2017. Are these fundamental rules? No. But between when I first wrote them and today I didn’t see much I’d change, except item 22.
1. Tell the truth. This will have the beneficial added benefit of changing your behavior so you’re not ashamed of what you do. The whole truth. Even about that. And that. People might not like you, but they’ll respect you. Except for the thing about the cat. Keep that to yourself – no one will understand.
2. Showing up on time is important. It shows respect. It is also is easy to track, if you’re a boss wanting to get rid of people. Even if you do a great job, you’ll be the first to go if you show up late. I guess that’s changed since the invasion of Ukraine and the sanctions – everyone has stopped Russian.
3. Don’t give up. Sometimes break-out success means ten years of study and effort and of not giving up. Even Johnny Depp succeeded, which proves that anyone can.
4. There are no friends like those formed in youth. When you’re ten, there are no pretenses. The cruel calculus of testosterone and estrogen has yet to set in. Greed is not an issue.
5. Be nice. Life is already really hard enough for many people. Don’t be their villain, unless it pays really well, and even then, the karma is . . . tough.
6. When you speak, or write, or think, you own the space between the words. You have the ability to turn your words into something amazing, since infinite possibility lies between one word and the next. This is the one most people will ignore, but one of my most powerful things that I found out for myself.
7. Don’t continually do things you hate, or things that make you feel like a failure. Putting yourself in situations like that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It also destroys your ability to naturally smell like musk and sandalwood.
8. Apologize. But only when you are wrong, which, if you regularly read this blog, is hardly ever. If you were not wrong, don’t apologize.
9. Be of value. If you don’t contribute, you’re part of the problem. Which problem? All of them.
10. Don’t make yourself into a victim. Almost everybody is where they are because of their choices. Own your choices, and own your outcomes. No one likes victims.
11. If you really are a victim? Act like you’re not. Because even if victimhood status is legit, see item 10. No one likes people who act like victims, even when they really are.
12. Opportunity is found where responsibility is neglected.
13. Solve someone else’s biggest problem: that’s the virtuous road to wealth. It’s also harder.
14. Remember, giving a gift creates a debt in the mind of the recipient. The larger the gift, the bigger the debt. And nobody likes someone they owe a lot of money to – giving large gifts can make people not like you.
15. If you don’t want to go to bed because you don’t want to get up tomorrow? Fix your life.
16. If you don’t want to get out of bed because you don’t want to live the day? Fix your life.
17. Have children and have them early. But only if you have a spouse. And can keep your spouse.
18. Cooking your own food is cheaper. And it gives time for conversation. Some of the best conversations occur around the barbeque grill and the deck late into the night.
19. Be tough when you have to be. To be kind when toughness is required results in tragedy.
20. A pleasure repeated too often becomes a punishment.
21. Beware of ignoring public opinion. Public opinion resulted in witch burning, the guillotine and Hula Hoops ®. You can be on the other side, but understand there may be consequences.
22. Don’t see conspiracy when simple laziness, plain stupidity, or normal greed would explain the situation just as well. Removed after living through 2019, 2020, 2021 and the first quarter of 2022.
23. Schools used to be run by school boards. Now they’re run by unions and lawsuits. None of these groups have the students in mind.
24. You don’t win ‘em all. Deal with it.
25. You are the sum of your experience, your intellect, your body, your surroundings, and the people you interact with. You also control your own change. So, get up. The you of today isn’t ready for tomorrow unless the you of today is changing to meet those challenges.
26. Betrayal of trust is an indication of character. Never trust someone who betrays you. Forgive? Perhaps. Trust again? Never.
27. Real personal changes don’t happen unless an emotional experience occurs. The bigger the change, the more significant the experience needed.
28. You have your shot. Would have and could have don’t exist. (Unless the Many Worlds Theory of quantum mechanics is correct, in which case all things happen, so have another beer.)
29. The best (and maybe only) way to win at gambling is to own the casino.
30. No matter how awesome your idea, it has no value unless you make it real. This takes risk, execution, and work. Which is a lot more difficult than talking about your wonderful idea.
31. Unless your boss is a good boss, being younger and smarter than him won’t impress him, it will make him jealous or fearful. Neither of those things are good.
32. Having a boss that makes less money than you is also not good. Envy is a powerful emotion.
33. Know the strengths and weaknesses of your (biological) parents. You’re not too much different than them. At best, you can avoid their weaknesses. At worst, you’ll follow every one of their downsides.
34. Tip well, if you can afford it. Waiting on tables is tough work. And if you do tip well? They’ll remember you and take care of you. It’s nice to show up and find the right bottle of wine waiting for you.
35. You’re not going to win the lottery. Unless it’s the one that Shirley Jackson wrote about. (LINK)
36. If you’re traveling in winter, travel on the top half of your gas tank. It doesn’t cost any more.
37. Keep your napkin in your lap while at the dinner table.
38. Always use deodorant. And if in doubt? Have a breath mint, too.
39. Keep in touch with people who have helped you, so you can help them. And because you’re a person.
40. If you have too much stuff, your stuff will own you. Except books. You can have as many of those as you want. And ammo.
41. The only way that you can know another person across centuries is to read what they’ve written. Have you written anything worthy of reading by your great-great grandchildren? No? Get to work.
42. You’re going to die, and we all die alone. Understand that the only person with you throughout your life is... you. Be prepared to keep yourself and those you love alive in any emergency you can imagine. Our time will come when it comes, but there’s no reason not to push it back as far as you can."
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