"Enjoy Until Midnight. Then Back To Work"
by John Wilder
"I had a football coach that had a speech that he saved for the team after we had won a big game. Since we were 2-7 my senior year, he rarely got to use it. It went something like this: “Alright, team, we won the big game and are feeling pretty good right now, except for Jenkins. I’m pretty sure he was left-handed, anyway, so don’t worry too much about him. We won. Enjoy it. Relax. Until midnight. After midnight, it’s back to being hungry for a win – the score is zero-zero.” Since this was before the GloboLeftElite clouded the minds of men, he’d then hand out cigarettes and beer to the freshmen and sophomores, with cigars, tequila and strippers for the upperclassmen. I loved high school. I learned a lot about Destiny there, though I think that was just her stage name. I never did get all the glitter off the truck seat.
Anyway, Trump has once again assumed the presidency. This is not the naïve, friendly, Trump of his first administration. Nope, he’s played the game, had four years to marinate in his mistakes, and is surrounded by a bunch of people who are nearly as pissed off as he is. The biggest initial impact, besides bleaching the Oval Office to get the old man smell out, are the plethora of Executive Orders he issued nearly immediately. I’ve got an incomplete list below, and let’s spend a few minutes reveling in them.1,500 pardons for January 6 protestors.
This was a big one, and was needed for legitimacy. So many of the folks on January 6 did absolutely nothing wrong in what was effectively the largest panty raid in American history – you could tell because Nancy Pelosi certainly had her panties in a bunch. Sorry for that. Now you probably need mind bleach.
The sentences for the protesters were, in almost every case, extremely disproportionate to the crimes alleged. This is justice.Declared a national border emergency. This was one that really got the goat of the GloboLeftElite. Butch Maddow, MSNBC© Lesbian at Large, reporting from the MSNBC™ Safe Space© bunker, immediately asked where Steiner’s troops were. But what happened is the border shut down. Immediately. The Border Patrol ceased their most recent duty of diaper delivery and social work and began, well, patrolling the border.
Removed birthright citizenship. Pure genius, and well overdue. If I vault over my neighbor’s fence and my woman gives birth on his lawn, I don’t have a claim to his house. Oddly, that’s been our theory for decades. The wording of the amendment establishing citizenship at birth clearly says, “and under the jurisdiction thereof.” Criminals are not citizens, and not under the jurisdiction, just like diplomats, people on student, tourist, or work visas, or ILLEGAL ALIENS aren’t.
Boot ‘em. Sadly, this isn’t retroactive, but this is a start. Already H1-B Indians are complaining that they can’t chain migrate their 4,323 close relatives from India because of this. Yes, this makes me cry inside. But it’s tears of joy. Shut down refugee resettlement.
Every picture about this particular order showed the fat Squatamalan woman wearing designer clothes crying because her appointment to negotiate to come into the United States was cancelled. She had a cell phone (nicer than mine) showing that her appointment was cancelled. Why, oh why does it make these people cry when they are told that they have to live in their home country surrounded by people just like them?
Food stamp balance: $13,401.82
Cash Balance: $4,498.85
WTF! I repeat, for emphasis, WTF!
Rescinded 78 Biden Executive Orders on DEI. Imagine you’re a diversity trainer. Imagine you had a contract to teach diversity to listless herds of .gov employees. Imagine now you’re unemployed. I know, I know. I’m in pain, too. It’ll probably take plastic surgery to remove the smile from my face.
Froze .gov hiring. This is a good start. Now start firing ever DEI employee, every gun control policy wonk, and every third employee, randomly. That’s a better start.
Required immediate return to in-person work for .gov employees. They have to go to work? In a building? That’s not their home? And put on pants? Sheer monstrosity!
Required regulation cutting. This is a sleeper, because it has a huge ability, if done right, to lower costs for businesses and individuals. We’ll see.
Required removal of climate policies that raise costs and withdraw from the Paris Accords. Again, a sleeper because all of that alternative energy is really, really costly when compared to regular old energy, and yet raise your costs invisibly because the cost is just passed on to you via your bill. The Paris Accords aren’t a treaty, because the GloboLeftElite couldn’t pass a treaty. It’s just...an agreement that bound us to GloboLeftElite goals, i.e., they keep their jets, but we have to have crappy cars. Or, it was an agreement.
Withdrew from the World Health Organization. I’ve written about this bureaucratic overreach with no particular purpose after they actually did some good and important things. Mainly, it’s a bunch of high-paying jobs and a really cool building with a rooftop café for foreigners to sip cappuccinos while they laugh at us plebs.
Created the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) to eliminate entire agencies and many .gov jobs. I’ve written about DOGE before. I’m certainly in hopes that it works, though, like so many of the above, it all depends on the executions. After fair trials, of course.Removed the security clearances from the 51 intelligence officers who said that Hunter’s laptop was fake, and, also John Bolton.
I found this one particularly delicious. These intelligence grifters retire and use their credentials to maintain access to secret information, and then sell their opinions to big corporations or mainstream media. Sadly, I’m not sure the Executive Orders covered Bolton’s mustache, which I think is Bolton’s primary sensory and information storage organ.
Declared that there were only two genders. It took mankind 2020 years to forget this, but one stroke of the pen and it made sense again. I wonder what will happen to all of those trans celebrity kids now that they’re illegal. Maybe we can send them to Guatemala, too.
Declared that it’s now the Gulf of America. A troll from Trump, but a beautiful, hilarious troll that the GloboLeftElite will focus on while Trump’s busy gutting the federal government like a trout or an MSNBC© Safe Space™. There are, of course, more, like firing the DEI obsessed Coast Guard L.I.C. (Lesbian in Charge) or shutting down most foreign aid, immediately.
So, tonight, I’ll sit back and not gripe. I’ll enjoy the moment. Until midnight."
