"I’m tired. I’m dragging my body around. My soul is fatigued. I’m tired of living life. I’m tired of protecting my heart. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being the teacher, the alpha mare and my own leader. I’m exhausted from the lack of sustenance to my heart. I’m starved and my soul feels small, invisible, atrophied. I don’t have my own person. Not someone who loves me - mind, heart and body. I am in a bubble of untouched existence. My skin is lonely. I’m tired of this matrix and the constant competition. I’m tired of keeping score and staying even. I’m tired of living to pay bills. There must be another reason I exist. I’m tired of being lonely and alone. I’m tired of being misunderstood and misrepresented. Does anyone get me? Anyone understand me? Is anyone out there on my path? I am an alien amongst my overcrowded species. A foreigner in my own home. I watch it all with a detached eye, revolving and spinning, blah, blah, blah, it’s all static. Am I the only one who notices?"
- Payne Hawthorne
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