"Fungi Funk"
by Sylvia Shawcross
"Now, here’s the good news: with the price of groceries continuing to go up it will only take 2 to 3 months before people resort to cannibalism. Okay…Maybe that wasn’t good news. The good news is that t-shirt makers will profit indeed by their “Eat the Rich” wearable gear. Alright… that’s not necessarily fair either. It is not a crime to be rich: it is a crime to be rich and utterly indifferent to the plight of your fellow humans. That is the crime. That is ultimately psychopathic.
But that is neither here nor there, the important thing to remember is we’re all human, rich or poor and not one of us will not swear when we stub our toes. This is just one thing that makes us human. I put that up there at the top of the list really. It’s a universal given that is.
Deciding what makes us human is a very important point right now with AI leaping in there doing all the things we can do. AI is utterly frightening in its capacity at the moment and heaven only knows what happens in another few years. The damn thing can solve cryptic crosswords using the same logic we use but with the benefit of all the world’s knowledge at its finger tips…well computer chips, not fingertips. (Which rhymes, not that that is important or anything unless someone wants to make a song or something.)
We’ll need to know what makes us human so we can sit in the ashes of our world and console each other while ridiculing AI for not being what we are. Which is as far as I can see creatures that scream when they stub their toes and have a soul. We think so anyway. We have to die to know that for sure. But that’s okay. We can claim to have a soul and AI can’t.
AI is just “us” all dressed up with our collective history of originality and effort and knowledge and very little to show for itself. It never sleeps so it never dreams. It is chained to reason and logic and does not fall in love, cry over sad movies nor drink itself under the table and feel like death the next day. In that sense it has no regrets. That would all be very illogical for it. Yes.
Humans always have regrets. And the biggest regret we may ever have is that we didn’t regulate artificial intelligence before it existed. That and the fact that we’re producing too many computer engineers who are bored and have to frig around with “everything” and mess up things that were perfectly adequate to begin with forcing all of us to be in a constant state of change we don’t need or want. We have got to stop producing computer engineers. We’ll teach them macrame instead. Who doesn’t need a good plant pot holder?
Well…me actually. I kill plants. I’ve killed some of the best plants you can imagine. I once inadvertently killed a chrysanthemum with vinegar. Since then all chrysanthemums die before I even bring them into the house. That’s because they have a collective intelligence and they know who I am. Yes, they’re intelligent: eccentric science-type people can get mushrooms to play on little miniature pianos now. I kid you not. Go look:
Someone actually is doing this - going out into the vast forest and plunking a piano in front of a toadstool and recording it.
Anyway. As I was saying, we are human because we are ridiculous at the best of times. And the worse of times. We think of absurd things beyond comprehension which is a thing that makes us human. We must embrace our eccentrics. They hold our humanity because they will never conform. They will not paint their walls grey e.g. Not that there is anything wrong with that. (Although there is - fundamentally, spiritually and intrinsically. But that’s in about three other columns I’ve written and nobody ultimately cares.) So the next time you go stub your toe, celebrate. You are human and they can’t take that away from you!"
o
Full screen recommended.
No comments:
Post a Comment