"Every Decision You Make Is a Maslow Test
(Most People Fail It)"
by Thomas Oppong
"Hedonism is the basic theory of human nature. We are driven by a desire for pleasure and a natural aversion to suffering and pain. You, me, everyone. We are all just after feeling good and trying anything necessary to avoid everything uncomfortable. Every career move, relationship, or creative hobby is all just a pursuit for a better feeling (happiness) or an escape from a worse one. But comfort doesn’t build character; it builds dependence. We say we want happiness, but what we really mean is we want control over our pain.
Life doesn’t play by that rule. Discomfort is a guarantee. Most people spend their whole lives trying to escape it. Stoic philosophers Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius thought voluntary discomfort had benefits. They believed by choosing pain sometimes, you steal its power over you. You stop being a hostage to your own comfort zone. And that’s the practical irony of hedonism. It backfires. The more you pursue pleasure, the less you feel it. You build tolerance. The dopamine becomes a cycle. But only for a while. Because the human desire for more is insatiable.
Philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Maybe the sweet spot is knowing when to sit with both. You can love pleasure and still make peace with struggle. You can take the Stoic route without becoming a monk. Take a cold shower, push through a hard workout because you refuse to be ruled by comfort.
Abraham Maslow, the psychologist who created Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a theory of psychological health based on fulfilling innate human needs, said, “In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” It’s a powerful truth of life. Most people pick safety. Safety feels good. It’s warm, predictable, and gives us the illusion of control. Growth? It’s jumping off cliffs and figuring out mid-air if you remembered your parachute. But that’s where the magic is. Right at the edge of “oh crap, what am I doing?”
Safety isn’t always bad. You need it sometimes. To recover, regroup. But stay there too long and it rots. Comfort turns into a trap. You start mistaking stillness for peace when really it’s fear in disguise. I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We all have. The job you hate but won’t leave. The conversation you avoid because it might actually change something. The dream you keep “preparing” for but never start. That’s all safety. Growth, on the other hand, doesn’t wait for your permission. It drags you forward whether you’re ready or not. It’s uncomfortable because it’s supposed to be. That’s the price for becoming someone new.
Every single day, we make a choices. Every one of them is a button-pushing moment. I call it the two-button approach to life. The green button for stepping forward, the red button to stay comfortable.
The green growth button: It’s the “go for it” button. The one that sends shivers down your spine and a jolt of excitement through your veins. Every intimidating project or task tackled, a new skill learned, buried feeling expressed, and tough conversation you had to endure is a green-button experience. You are forging real growth. The green button, my friends, may be uncomfortable initially, but it’s crucial to excitement and many life-changing experiences. “The most satisfying lives are those which involve challenge, fear and struggle,” says psychologist Paul Bloom.
The green button fuels that heart-pounding presentation, the nerve-wracking dates, the daunting new language course. It’s the inner voice that says, “Challenge yourself, become more!” Think of every green button experience as a personal victory lap. Author, businessman and speaker T. Harv Eker was right when he said, “Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined. Comfort kills!”
The red safety button: The red button represents holding onto what’s known, a futile attempt to avoid the natural flow of life. True peace comes from accepting the ever-shifting nature of existence and stepping into life with curiosity rather than fear. The red button screams danger. “Don’t do it” is louder when you get close to the edge of the circle of comfort.It’s the urge to stay put, to avoid the unknown.
It’s the extra hour of sleep over the gym or the polite silence instead of addressing a brewing conflict in your relationship. We miss so much more when we give in to the red button. While it promises safety, it leads to a stunted life. Imagine living your entire life within the circle of comfort. You sacrifice opportunities for growth, passion, and connection.
Psychiatrist and author M. Scott Peck said, “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
The real power is choosing wisely. Notice the buttons? Be strategic. The truth is, both buttons have their place. We all need moments of safety to recharge and regroup. But hitting the safety button too often leads to a life devoid of passion, purpose, and growth. Sometimes, the red button offers a much-needed recharge before tackling a challenge. Other times, pressing green might mean taking a calculated risk for a long-term reward.
Sure, the red button might feel safe. It promises a comfy life on autopilot. But is that truly living? Green buttons are the launch codes for adventure, the fuel for transformation. There’s no perfect score on this two-button test. It’s recognising how our choices affect the rest of our lives. Will we cower in comfort or step into the exhilarating uncertainty of growth? The most fulfilling lives are built on both green and red-button moments.
If you are risking routine disruption, aim for balance. For every choice, take a deep breath, assess the situation, and push the button that pushes you towards your best self. The whole aim of life is to live fully. Every step forward and stumble you overcome makes you stronger, wiser, and closer to becoming the incredible person you’re meant to be.
15 short habits on thinking clearly:
1. First, exposing yourself to different ideas and perspectives is vital - especially when they challenge our assumptions or beliefs.
2. Challenge your beliefs/ assumptions. If you have a particular worldview, it can be helpful to challenge it with new evidence or viewpoints.
3. Seek credible assumptions. New information never hurts anyone and can even be beneficial in the long run.
4. Good thinkers diversity their day, routine or ritual at least once a week.
5. “Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.” - Confucius
6. Stay away from people who only agree with you or those who pester you until you agree with them instead; this will only hinder your growth.
7. Make it a habit to think about how your thought process works and try to find flaws in your logic if applicable.
8. “When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.” - Horace Walpole
9. Pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling at any given time. By watching your thoughts, you can become more aware of how your mind works and how you can improve its function.
10. Avoid overwork or deep mental strain if you can: it can make it harder for your brain to perform at peak efficiency.
11. Ask better questions: Start with “Why”. “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” - Voltaire
12. Learn to use the four quadrants of the mind: logic, intuition, emotions and creativity. When trying to solve a problem, use all four quadrants by drawing connections between different parts of your brain.
13. Think for yourself: question everything you hear and see without accepting anything at face value. “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.” - Oscar Wilde
14. Take time to think through any life-changing decision (and its short and long-term effects).
15. Be willing to be wrong - even though this may feel uncomfortable initially, it will ultimately serve you in the long run."
o
Dr. John, "Right Place, Wrong Time"
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