"This 'Tree Rule' Teaches The Hardest Skill In Life"
by Thomas Oppong
"A tree doesn’t know what spring looks like when it lets go in winter. It just trusts that it’s coming again. Throughout the year, it goes through cycles. Novelist May Sarton said something that teaches one of the hardest skills in life: the art of letting go. I have a name for it: the “tree rule.”
She writes, “I think of the trees and how simply they let go, let fall the riches of a season, how without grief (it seems) they can let go and go deep into their roots for renewal and sleep… Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.” Most people spend their whole lives avoiding the skill of releasing what we must let go: attachment to identities, the past, grudges and everything that makes us suffer unnecessarily.
When a tree lets go of its leaves, it’s being strategic. It’s protecting itself. And improving its roots. It’s also choosing to recover better. To get stronger for the next season. The roots go further down in winter than they ever do in summer. It’s preparation. Holding on to past or present pain is costly. It wears you down even more.
Pain, Sarton says, doesn’t stay. “Nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.” Let time do what time does. And when it’s time, let go of what keeps you up at night.
Renewal only happens after the release. You can’t become stronger for your next life (build better roots) while you’re still holding onto leaves that already turned. “Learn to lose in order to recover.” You don’t have to figure everything out or feel okay right away. You just have to stop holding on so hard. Let the season turn. Trust the roots. Renewal finds you when you finally get out of its way.
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know…nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. perhaps there is no solid obstacle except our own need to protect ourselves from being touched.” - Pema Chödrön
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