"From Hyperinflation to Hypergamy: The Weimar Playbook and Why
America’s Wallet (and Morals) Are Feeling the Pinch: A Play In Three Acts"
by John Wilder
"Ah, who doesn’t long for the Weimar Republic? That glorious interlude between the trenches of mud-filled World War I and the Austrian led sequel. What was the Weimar Republic like?
It was like your grandma’s bingo night turned into a rave with existential dread and paper money for confetti. But beneath the jazz hands and cocaine-fueled cabarets, the Weimar Republic wasn’t just an economic dumpster fire, even though that’s what it’s best known as. No, it was also a masterclass in how crumbling finances torch traditional values, especially when it comes to the birds-and-bees department. The ladies? Let’s just say that they were dumping their morals during that time period faster than you can say “Ruhr Occupation.”
It’s probably time to dust off the Weimar playbook to see what it teaches us in 2025 since history doesn’t repeat, but it does rhyme, not like one of those stupid haikus.
Act 1: The Money Meltdown (1923 – The Great Devaluation): The upside is my salary is 5 billion marks a month. The downside? It’s Germany in 1923, where everyone is a billionaire. But that five billion is enough to buy SpaceX®, right? No. Enough for a loaf of bread? No. By noon, it costs 3 trillion for a single Triscuit® without any Cheez Whiz™. Hyperinflation, sparked by French troops squatting in the Ruhr (while smoking cigarettes and eating baguettes) over unpaid war reparations and a fevered central banker who thought that inflation stemmed from not having enough paper cash, wiped out the middle class overnight. Wheelbarrows of cash for groceries? That really happened. Suicides spiking? Check.
And the ladies? Well... Biologically, women are drawn to men with power and resources. They like nice things, like sitting on couches eating bon-bons and not working jobs that will kill them. Consequently, they choose men who have power and resources because otherwise they have to work. It makes sense – somebody has to raise the kids, and if they spend all their time hunting mammoth, the kids will die. So, Wuma like Grug. Grug big strong. Grug bring food. Grug like Wuma because warm and make zug-zug. And Mortimer? His genes didn’t get passed down.
In Weimar Germany, however, all the thousands of years between Hans and Grug evaporated. Women, sensing the ship sinking, entered into Hypergamy Mode™. Stable accountant husbands toiling for stacks of worthless cash? Adios. Black-market speculators with coal or ham? Jackpot.
Prostitution boomed and I’m not going to get into the horrible details – you can look them up yourself, though I highly advise you not to. Economic desperation flipped the script and a moral and prosperous people disappeared. I think this time in history showed that most fräuleins were just three hot meals away from working the streets.
Chastity? Loyalty? Those were luxuries for men who could still afford to pay for dinner. The result was predictable: birth rates tanked, divorces doubled, and Berlin became a petri dish for STDs.
Act 2: 1924-1928 – Stabilization to Sizzle: By 1924, Germany put up the surrender flag again and rolled out the Rentenmark, a mortgage-backed currency that halted the fiscal freefall. Unemployment goes, down and wages climb 10% in 1928 alone. Golden Twenties! But the morality break from the hyperinflation remained. Berlin’s nightlife is a bisexual, androgynous fever dream. Divorces? Up 20 per 100 marriages. Abortions? From taboo to two-for-Tuesday.
Prostitutes? The 1927 Venereal Disease Law decriminalized prostitution, shifting it from being a cop problem to a social worker problem. Really, this was just formalizing the side-hustle economy. Society, or at least those little things we call morals, were ignored.
Leave the steady scientist for the jazz-club owner? Why not? Resources signaled survival, and with the past experiences, women valued power and money more than, well, value. Long-term vows were for suckers. Men, emasculated by inflation scars, either joined in the debauchery or brewed resentment in beer halls.
Act 3: Crash and Backlash (1929-1933 – Depression to Despot): Wall Street sneezed in October 1929 and Germany caught pneumonia. Unemployment hits 30%, and banks implode. The result? An insignificant party led by an Austrian painter rocketed from fringe to 37% of the vote in the 1932 elections. The promise? Crushed cabarets. Mandated motherhood. Homeownership, and the house is free after a certain number of kids. Oh, and most people don’t ask exactly what books were burned. Why the rise? Economics eroded trust and broke down traditional male-female relationships. This bred fury.
America’s Weimar Remix: Where are we now?: Fast-forward to the U.S. We’ve been doing inflation for years, since the creation of the Federal Reserve Bank®. Will we see hyperinflation? Almost certainly. There are two ways the debt will clear – either we pay it or we default on it. Want to take bets on which we do?
The morality failure is in play:
“Hot girl summers,”
Situationships,
Chastity is cringe,
Birth rates echo Berlin in the 1920s,
30% of Zoomers were aborted,
Female body counts are soaring, and
OnlyFans®.
OnlyFans© itself paints a picture of depravity: OnlyFans™ has over 3 million women willing to show you their naked body, most of whom earn less than $50 a month. Not only are they tramps, they’re cheap tramps. Femininity is utterly degraded: motherhood in a loving family is now considered oppressive, while being married in a loving relationship is oppression.
Are we in Act 1, Scene 2 – A Financial Puzzle, or Act 2, Scene 3 – The Hangover Before the Headache, or Act 3, Scene 1 – Enter the Man With the Plan?
I don’t know. I know it’s bad. 60%-80% of Gen Z men aren’t dating. Less than 30% of them identify with the Republican or Democratic parties. Video games and A.I. girlfriends aren’t going to replace actual wives, so the instability in society is growing, and quickly.
As I said at the top – history doesn’t repeat, but it surely does rhyme. The late Roman Republic and the Late Roman Empire are also parallels, and I could keep going. Bad economic decisions lead to the breakdown of human relationships. Those broken relationships lead to a change in government type. The good news? We won’t run out of wheelbarrows for the money. We don’t need to print it, just add a few ones and zeros into a program. Isn’t progress grand?"
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